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which every "artist of the beautiful" should insist in her own house.
Too many mothers and housekeepers think that "anything will do for
home people." It is our duty to keep ourselves and our children "up"
in "the thing" in table and parlor manners, dress and the etiquette of
visiting, letter-writing, etc. Even among well-born people there are
certain small tokens of good breeding which are too often neglected.
One of these is what a college boy recently described in my hearing as
the "bread-and-butter letter." At my inquiring look he explained that
it was "the note of thanks a fellow writes to his hostess after
having made a visit at her house--don't you know?"
This note should be written as soon as possible after the guest
returns to her home, even if she has been entertained for only a
night. In it she informs her hostess of her safe arrival, and thanks
her for her kind hospitality. A few lines are all that is necessary.
It seems incredible that in decent society anyone should be so little
acquainted with the requirements of the drawing-room as to enter a
lady's parlor, and stop to speak to another person before first
seeking his hostess and paying her his respects. And yet I have seen
men come into a room and stop to chat first with one, then with
another friend, before addressing the entertainer. If, while searching
for the lady of the house in a parlor full of people, a man is
addressed by some acquaintance, he should merely make an apology and
pass on until he has found his hostess. After that he is free to talk
with whom he pleases.
It is to be hoped that when a man commits the rudeness of passing into
a room before a lady instead of giving her the precedence, it is from
forgetfulness. Certainly I have frequently been the amazed witness of
this proceeding. Forgetfulness, too, may be the cause of a man's
tilting back his chair until it sways backward and forward, meantime
burying his hands in the depths of his trousers pockets. But such
thoughtlessness is, in itself, discourtesy. No man or woman has a
right to be absorbed in his or her affairs to the extent of forgetting
what is due to other people.
The tricks of manner and speech contracted by a boy or young man
should be noticed and corrected by mother or sister before they become
confirmed habits. Such are touching a lady on arm or shoulder to
attract her attention, inquiring "What say?" or "Is that so?" to
indicate surprise, glancing at the address
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