uppress a scene which he urged would certainly endanger the success
of the piece. "If the scene is not a good one, let them find it out,"
said Fielding. As had been foreseen, an uproar ensued in the theatre.
The actor hastened to the green-room, where the author was cheering
his spirits with a bottle of champagne. Surveying Garrick's rueful
countenance, Fielding inquired: "What's the matter? Are they hissing
me now?" "Yes, the very passage I wanted you to retrench. I knew it
wouldn't do. And they've so horribly frightened me I shall not be
right again the whole night." "Oh," cried the author, "I did not give
them credit for it. So they have found it out, have they?" Upon the
failure of his farce of "Eurydice," he produced an occasional piece
entitled "Eurydice Hissed," in which Mrs. Charke, the daughter of
Colley Cibber, sustained the part of Pillage, a dramatic author.
Pillage is about to produce a new play, and one of his friends
volunteers to "clap every good thing till I bring the house down."
"That won't do," Pillage sagaciously replies; "the town of its own
accord will applaud what they like; you must stand by me when they
dislike. I don't desire any of you to clap unless when you hear a
hiss. Let that be your cue for clapping." Later in the play three
gentlemen enter, and in Shakespearean fashion discuss in blank verse
the fate of Pillage's production.

THIRD GENTLEMAN. Oh friends, all's lost! Eurydice is damned.

SECOND GENTLEMAN. Ha! damned! A few short moments past I came
From the pit door and heard a loud applause.

THIRD GENTLEMAN. 'Tis true at first the pit seemed greatly pleased,
And loud applauses through the benches rang;
But as the plot began to open more
(A shallow plot) the claps less frequent grew,
Till by degrees a gentle hiss arose;
This by a catcall from the gallery
Was quickly seconded: then followed claps;
And 'twixt long claps and hisses did succeed
A stern contention; victory being dubious.
So hangs the conscience, doubtful to determine
When honesty pleads here, and there a bribe.

* * * * *

But it was mighty pleasant to behold
When the damnation of the farce was sure,
How all those friends who had begun the claps
With greatest vigour strove who first should hiss
And show disapprobation.

Surely no dramatist ever jested more over his own discomfiture. In
publishing "Eurydi