the affairs of the house, but left it all--in
appearance--to the "Sixths." Actually, nothing escaped him. The tone
of the house was on the whole extraordinarily clean and wholesome,
and the fellows who had dirty minds were a small minority, and easily
avoided. At all events, very little of that sort of thing reached me.

At sixteen and a half I went to the Royal Military Academy at
Woolwich, commonly known as "the Shop." There I spent the two
most miserable years of my life, and made the second of my great
friendships. In these days the Shop was still a pretty rough place,
and at the moment it was unusually full. I think there were over 300
fellows there altogether, and there were about 70 in my term. My first
experience was unfortunate. I was interviewing the Adjutant, a keen
sportsman and a bit of a tartar. He eyed me unfavourably, asked what
games I could play, and when I replied that I had no great proficiency
in any he commented, "Humph, a good-for-nothing!" and dismissed me.

I am by nature slow, stolid and clumsy. I was bad at being "smart";
I was slow and clumsy at drill; map making and geometrical drawing
were physical impossibilities to me; I was incredibly slow and stupid
at machinery, mechanism and electricity. The only subject which
interested me was military history. In my first term I dropped from
about forty-fourth to about seventieth in my class, and I kept near
the bottom until my fourth term, when I failed in my electricity
exam., and had to stay one term more. In the same term I received a
prize for the best essay on the lessons of the South African War.

Oh, the misery of those terms at Woolwich! I hated the work, the
drill, the gym and even the riding school. I hated the officers, and
above all I hated the spirit of the place. As far as I remember,
the one eternal topic of conversation and subject of "wit" was the
sexual relation. Of course the boys had never been taught sensibly
anything about it. Consequently the place was continually circulated
with filthy books, pictures, stories, etc. When I went there I was
extraordinarily innocent, and devoid of curiosity. I had been recently
the more disposed to purity through the death of my mother. At
Woolwich I remained extraordinarily innocent and uncurious, letting
the poisonous stream flow continually by me, shrinking from its
stench, and finding more and more relief in my own company. I must
have been a very unpleasant person at that time.

One