ove; and, for the
love of Him, to renounce all besides.

For the first year I commonly employed myself during the time set
apart for devotion with the thought of death, judgment, heaven, hell,
and my sins, Thus continued some years, applying my mind carefully the
rest of the day, and even in the midst of my business, _to the
presence of_ GOD, whom I considered always as _with_ me, often as _in_
me.

At length I came insensibly to do the same thing during my set time of
prayer, which caused in me great delight and consolation. This
practice produced in me so high an esteem for GOD, that _faith_ alone
was capable to satisfy me in that point.[3]

Such was my beginning; and yet I must tell you that for the first ten
years I suffered much: the apprehension that I was not devoted to GOD
as I wished to be, my past sins always present to my mind, and the
great unmerited favors which GOD did me, were the matter and source of
my sufferings. During this time I fell often, and rose again
presently. It seemed to me that all creatures, reason, and GOD Himself
were against me; and _faith_ alone for me. I was troubled sometimes
with thoughts that to believe I had received such favors was an effect
of my presumption, which pretended to be _at once_ where others arrive
with difficulty; at other times that it was a wilful delusion, and
that there was no salvation for me.

When I thought of nothing but to end my days in these troubles (which
did not at all diminish the trust I had in GOD, and which served only
to increase my faith), I found myself changed all at once; and my
soul, which, till that time, was in trouble, felt a profound inward
peace, as if she were in her centre and place of rest.

Ever since that time I walk before GOD simply, in faith, with humility
and with love; and I apply myself diligently to do nothing and think
nothing which may displease Him. I hope that when I have done what I
can, He will do with me what He pleases.

As for what passes in me at present, I cannot express it. I have no
pain or difficulty about my state, because I have no will but that of
GOD, which I endeavor to accomplish in all things, and to which I am
so resigned that I would not take up a straw from the ground against
His order, or from any other motive than purely that of love to Him.

I have quitted all forms of devotion and set prayers but those to
which my state obliges me. And I make it my business only to persevere
in His holy pr