hat so shocks you? _Basta, Basta!_
Again, I say, Enough. I never thought I should be so soft as to mutter
excuses for what I have done. And if I do so now, the words seem forced
from me against my will-forced from me, as if in seeing you I was again
but a wild, lawless, wilful boy, who grieved to see you saddened by his
faults, though he forgot his grief the moment you were out of sight."

"Oh, Jasper," cried Waife, now fairly placing his hand on Jasper's
guilty head, and fixing his bright soft eye, swimming in tears, on that
downcast gloomy face. "You repent!--you repent! Yes; call back your
BOYHOOD--call it back! Let it stand before you, now, visible, palpable!
Lo! I see it! Do not you? Fearless, joyous Image! Wild, lawless, wilful,
as you say. Wild from exuberant life; lawless as a bird is free, because
air is boundless to untried exulting wings; wilful from the ease with
which the bravery and beauty of Nature's radiant Darling forced way for
each jocund whim through our yielding hearts! Silence! It is there! I
see it, as I saw it rise in the empty air when guilt and ignominy first
darkened round you; and my heart cried aloud, 'Not on him, not on him,
not on that glorious shape of hope and promise--on me, whose life,
useless hitherto, has lost all promise now--on me let fall the shame.'
And my lips obeyed my heart, and I said--'Let the Laws' will be done--I
am the guilty man.' Cruel, cruel one! Was that sunny Boyhood then so
long departed from you? On the verge of youth, and such maturity in
craft and fraud--that when you stole into my room that dark winter eve,
threw yourself at my feet, spoke but of thoughtless debts, and the fear
that you should be thrust from an industrious honest calling, and I--I
said, 'No, no; fear not; the head of your firm likes you; he has written
to me; I am trying already to raise the money you need; it shall be
raised, no matter what it cost me; you shall be saved; my Lizzie's son
shall never know the soil of a prison; shun temptation henceforth: be
but honest, and I shall be repaid!'--what, even then, you were coldly
meditating the crime that will make my very grave dishonoured!"

"Meditating--not so! How could I be? Not till after what had thus passed
between us, when you spoke with such indulgent kindness, did I even know
that I might more than save myself--by monies--not raised at risk and
loss to you! Remember, you had left me in the inner room, while you went
forth to speak with Gu