I never can as
I ought! He 's very good, and generous, and wise, and would be kind,
I know, but somehow I can't imagine spending my life with him; I 'm
so afraid I should get tired of him, and then what should I do? Polly
Sydney don't sound well, and Mrs. Arthur Sydney don't seem to fit me a
bit. Wonder how it would seem to call him 'Arthur'?" And Polly said it
under her breath, with a look over her shoulder to be sure no one heard
it. "It 's a pretty name, but rather too fine, and I should n't dare
to say 'Syd,' as his sister does. I like short, plain, home-like names,
such as Will, Ned, or Tom. No, no, I can never care for him, and it 's
no use to try!" The exclamation broke from Polly as if a sudden
trouble had seized her, and laying her head down on her knees, she sat
motionless for many minutes.

When she looked up, her face wore an expression which no one had ever
seen on it before; a look of mingled pain and patience, as if some loss
had come to her, and left the bitterness of regret behind.

"I won't think of myself, or try to mend one mistake by making another,"
she said with a heavy sigh. "I 'll do what I can for Fan, and not stand
between her and a chance of happiness. Let me see, how can I begin? I
won't walk with him any more; I 'll dodge and go roundabout ways, so
that we can't meet. I never had much faith in the remarkable coincidence
of his always happening home to dinner just as I go to give the Roths
their lesson. The fact is, I like to meet him, I am glad to be seen with
him, and put on airs, I dare say, like a vain goose as I am. Well, I
won't do it any more, and that will spare Fan one affliction. Poor dear,
how I must have worried her all this time, and never guessed it. She has
n't been quite as kind as ever; but when she got sharp, I fancied it was
dyspepsia. Oh, me! I wish the other trouble could be cured as easily as
this."

Here puss showed an amiable desire to forgive and forget, and Polly
took her up, saying aloud: "Puttel, when missis abuses you, play it 's
dyspepsia, and don't bear malice, because it 's a very trying disease,
my dear."

Then, going back to her thoughts, she rambled on again; "If he does
n't take that hint, I will give him a stronger one, for I will not have
matters come to a crisis, though I can't deny that my wicked vanity
strongly tempts me to try and 'bag a bird' just for the excitement and
credit of the thing. Polly, I 'm ashamed of you! What would your blessed
mo