ul how I might
receive what he had it in his mind to say to me next.

"Go on," I said.

"Still, my dear, I see nothing suspicious in what has happened," he
resumed. "To my mind it is quite natural that your husband, being in
London, should pay a visit to one of his friends. And it's equally
natural that we should pass through Vivian Place on our way back here.
This seems to be the reasonable view. What do _you_ say?"

"I have told you already that my mind is in a bad way about Eustace,"
I answered. "_I_ say there is some motive at the bottom of his visit to
Major Fitz-David. It is not an ordinary call. I am firmly convinced it
is not an ordinary call!"

"Suppose we get on with our dinner?" said Benjamin, resignedly. "Here is
a loin of mutton, my dear--an ordinary loin of mutton. Is there anything
suspicious in _that?_ Very well, then. Show me you have confidence in
the mutton; please eat. There's the wine, again. No mystery, Valeria,
in that claret--I'll take my oath it's nothing but innocent juice of the
grape. If we can't believe in anything else, let's believe in juice of
the grape. Your good health, my dear."

I adapted myself to the old man's genial humor as readily as I could.
We ate and we drank, and we talked of by-gone days. For a little while I
was almost happy in the company of my fatherly old friend. Why was I not
old too? Why had I not done with love, with its certain miseries, its
transient delights, its cruel losses, its bitterly doubtful gains? The
last autumn flowers in the window basked brightly in the last of the
autumn sunlight. Benjamin's little dog digested his dinner in perfect
comfort on the hearth. The parrot in the next house screeched his vocal
accomplishments cheerfully. I don't doubt that it is a great privilege
to be a human being. But may it not be the happier destiny to be an
animal or a plant?

The brief respite was soon over; all my anxieties came back. I was once
more a doubting, discontented, depressed creature when I rose to say
good-by.

"Promise, my dear, you will do nothing rash," said Benjamin, as he
opened the door for me.

"Is it rash to go to Major Fitz-David?" I asked.

"Yes--if you go by yourself. You don't know what sort of man he is; you
don't know how he may receive you. Let me try first, and pave the way,
as the saying is. Trust my experience, my dear. In matters of this sort
there is nothing like paving the way."

I considered a moment. It was due to my goo