.

"Will you be so kind as to favor us with the name of the individual who
is thus libelling his lordship?" demanded the Count with a serious air.

Mr. Maddison hastily put the paper back in his pocket, and with a glance
checked his son's gesture of protest.

"Guess we'd better pass on to the next thing, Ri. I told you it wasn't
any darned use just asking. But you boys always think you know better
than your Poppas," said he; and then, turning to the Count, "It
isn't worth while troubling, Count; I'll see that these reports get
contradicted, if I have to buy up a daily paper and issue it at a
halfpenny. Yes, sir, you can leave it to me."

The Count glanced at his friend, and they exchanged a grave look.

"Again we place ourselves in your hands," said Bunker.

Though considerably impressed with these repeated evidences of
confidence on the part of two such important personages, their host
nevertheless maintained something of his inquisitorial air as he
proceeded--

"For my own satisfaction, Lord Tulliwuddle, and meaning to convey no
aspersion whatsoever upon your character, I would venture to inquire
what are your views upon some of the current topics. Take any one you
like, sir, so long as it's good and solid, and let me hear what you have
to say about it. What you favor us with will not be repeated beyond this
room, but merely regarded by my son and myself as proving that we are
getting no dunder-headed dandy for our Eleanor, but an article of
real substantial value--the kind of thing they might make into a
Lord-lieutenant or a Viceroy in a bad year."

Tempting in every way as this suggestion sounded, his lordship
nevertheless appeared to find a little initial difficulty in choosing a
topic.

"Speak out, sir," said Mr. Maddison in an encouraging tone. "Our
standard for noblemen isn't anything remarkably high. With a duke I'd be
content with just a few dates and something about model cottages, and,
though a baron ought to know a little more than that, still we'll count
these feudal bagpipers and that ancestral hop-scotch performance as a
kind of set-off to your credit. Suppose you just say a few words on the
future of the Anglo-Saxon race. What you've learned from the papers will
do, so long as you seem to understand it."

Perceiving that his Teutonic friend looked a trifle dismayed at this
selection, Count Bunker suggested the Triple Alliance as an alternative.

"That needs more facts, I guess," said the mi