er my
girlish appeal to him at our parting? Was it, then, possible that
I was not only in a false position now, but that I had throughout
been playing that most contemptible of all roles--the infatuated
woman who imagines herself beloved by one indifferent to her? I
was overwhelmed with shame at the thought, still, turn it as I
might, I could not see that it admitted of any other conclusion.

Yet ignominious as it all was, it must be faced, for it was impossible
that I should go on lamenting or living in the misery of constant
self-reproach. If I had had the courage to defy the world in my
Quixote endeavour to right the supposed wrongs of another, should
I not put forth some measure of the same courage to protect myself?
Because I had met with a disaster humbling to my self-respect and
pride, surely I was not forced to proclaim my own defeat to the
world, and thus add ridicule to humiliation. Cost what it might,
I determined to put forth every endeavour to prevent Hugh even
suspecting the true motive of my presence in Canada until the time
should come when I might return in safety.

It cost me an effort to return to Lucy. I had almost a dislike to
see her again, but my pride came to my support, and, when I went,
I saw I had exaggerated the difficulty, for I found a different
creature awaiting me. Whatever suffering I had gone through, it
was clear this poor soul had gained some great relief, and my
selfishness was not proof against her content. She had forgotten
that I had been beside her when Hugh had entered. The greatness
of his revelation, whatever it had been, had swept away all smaller
things, and she lay there with a new light in her face, but as
quiet and self-contained as before. Had she spoken, I could not
have borne it.

My courage in respect to Hugh was not immediately put to the proof,
as he had been ordered off to Montreal, there to join M. de Levis
as aide-de-camp, and I had both time and freedom for decision.

Much to Angelique's delight, I now accompanied her to all the balls
and junketings that went on, for I had nothing further to fear,
and, alas, nothing to hope. M. de Montcalm and the others received
me with warm welcome, and made a small ovation over my appearance.

I suffered, however, as is often the case with a newcomer in a
small society, from the stupid jealousy of some of the women, who
resented my appearance as an intruder, and who more than once
started reports as to my position, whi