r couples returned in April 1972, the answers were resoundingly
in the affirmative. In one case, it was true, the local arrangements had
broken down and they had not had the opportunity yet to conduct a
retreat--but they came to the reunion just the same. (Their opportunity
for leadership came later.) Reports from all the others, including the
two "veteran" couples, had the same authentic ring of success that had
been sounded so unmistakably a year earlier.

Quoting from the group:

"We felt our job was to provide some structure to help the experience
develop, and then let people sort it out for themselves. Both of us felt
it was most important to ride with the tone of the developing situation,
and avoid any use of the more aggressive techniques of confrontation.
Stan was worried on Saturday that the talk was too general. Then one of
the wives broke through by asking if we could discuss something "...
down here, where I am ... like SEX?" So we got there ..."

"We viewed our task as leaders to be one of creating and sustaining an
atmosphere in which each couple could speak personally concerning their
marriage. We felt we best accomplished this task when we participated as
a couple in the same way as we urged the others to participate."

"We regarded ourselves as facilitators. We tried to be creative
listeners; to put questions to the group that would help them to share
personal experiences; to bring about a change of pace when we sensed
this to be necessary."

"We were quite relaxed. We tried to be perceptive of the needs of
individual couples. We hope we didn't talk too much."

"We saw ourselves as equal participants with the others, and
facilitators of a process which started well with frank, meaningful
conversation. We did agenda-building at several points. Our aim was to
create an atmosphere in which defensiveness could be replaced with
tolerant acceptance, and trust and confidence could grow as we heard
each other and learned from each other."

THE PROBLEM OF UNFELT NEED

"The underlying problem is the fact that the marriage enrichment retreat
meets unfelt needs. People don't feel keenly that they need it. If you
think your marriage is sound, you aren't strongly motivated to spend a
weekend making it even sounder. To get the tingle of a potential
deepening and enriching takes emotional impact. This means hearing from
someone obviously sensible who is warmly convinced about it."

A number of theories were