es
flashed fury as he spoke, and throwing his trumpet down, "Mooney!--by
jakers, you're no man!" Clenching his fist as he spoke, he made a rush
on the clarionet-player, and planted a hit on his mouth with such
vigour, that he rolled in the dust; and when he rose, it was with such
an upper lip that his clarionet-playing was evidently finished for the
next week certainly.

Now the fifer was the clarionet-player's brother; and he, turning on
the trumpeter, roared--

"Bad luck to you!--you did not sthrek him fair!"

But while in the very act of reprobating the foul blow, he let fly
under the ear of the trumpeter, who was quite unprepared for it,--and
he, too, measured his length on the road. On recovering his legs he
rushed on the fifer for revenge, and a regular scuffle ensued among
"the musicianers," to the great delight of the crowd of retainers, who
were so well primed with whisky that a fight was just the thing to
their taste.

In vain O'Grady swore at them, and went amongst them, striving to
restore order, but they would not be quiet till several black eyes and
damaged noses bore evidence of a busy five minutes having passed. In
the course of "the scrimmage," Fate was unkind to the fifer, whose
mouth-piece was considerably impaired; and "the boys" remarked, that
the worst stick you could have in a crowd was a "whistling stick," by
which name they designated the fifer's instrument.

At last, however, peace was restored, and the trumpeter again ordered
to play by O'Grady.

He protested, again, it was impossible.

The fifer, in revenge, declared he was only humbugging the Squire.

Hereupon O'Grady, seizing the unfortunate trumpeter, gave him a more
sublime kicking than ever fell to the lot of even piper or fiddler,
whose pay[21] is proverbially oftener in that article than the coin of
the realm.

[21] Fiddlers' fare, or pipers' pay--more kicks than halfpence.

Having tired himself, and considerably rubbed down the toe of his boot
with his gentlemanly exercise, O'Grady dragged the trumpeter to the
ditch, and rolled him into it, there to cool the fever which burned in
his seat of honour.

O'Grady then re-entered the carriage with Scatterbrain, and the party
proceeded; but the clarionet-player could not blow a note; the fifer
was not in good playing condition, and tootled with some difficulty;
the drummer was obliged now and then to relax his efforts in making a
noise that he might lift his right arm to