s big fools as they look, or look as big fools as
they are."

"The one kind of remains you can't find are the remains of a
Philosopher's lunch. 'Greedy' is a mild word to use for their sickening
gluttony."

"If you want to look for beauty, gentlemen, you should look anywhere but
straight in front of you." (Cheers.)

"Gentlemen, as I hear some geese quacking, as well as the donkey
braying, I find it difficult to say what I want." (Laughter.)

"I deny that there is any beauty in the laugh of a pack of hyenas."

"If there was anybody here called Sarah," continued Flitwick, wandering
farther and farther from his point, "who has been brought up in a girls'
school, and wears tan boots and lavender gloves in school (loud and
derisive shouts), and is well-known as the dunce of his house (hear,
hear), I should advise him never to look in the looking-glass if he is
afraid of chimpanzees."

This was too much for the pent-up feelings of the Philosophers--not that
they particularly resented Flitwick's facetious allusions to myself--but
in my capacity as President of the Club they felt called upon to support
me.

"Shut up, cheap-jack!" cried Trimble defiantly. We had given ourselves
away at last!

"Hullo," cried Flitwick, "there's somebody here! I wonder if those
little cads of Sharpe's have found out our place?"

"_Your_ place!" thundered Warminster. "You knew it was ours. And we
mean to kick you out."

"Ho! ho! when are you going to begin?" shouted the twenty Urbans.

"Now," yelled the twenty Philosophers.

A battle now seemed imminent, as fierce and disastrous as that fought
four centuries before on the adjoining heath. The blood of both parties
was up, and I might even have found myself engaged in a hand-to-hand
combat with my old chum Dicky, had not Tempest unexpectedly appeared on
the scene, like a bolt out of the blue.

He was pushing along his bicycle, and had evidently been attracted to
the Bottom by the noise.

"What's up?" he inquired, taking advantage of the temporary silence.

"Those day-boy cads have come and bagged our places and spoiled our
fun," said we.

"No, it's your kids who have come and stopped ours," protested the
enemy.

"And you're all going down into the middle to have a mill," said
Tempest. "Just as you like. But why don't you try a tug of war across
instead? You're pretty evenly matched, and I'll umpire!"

It was not a bad idea, and took beautifully. The only drawback w