unusually tender friendship be called which he professed for
me, and, as I may say, claimed in return from me? I know that he has no
notion of the love called Platonic. Nor have I: I think it, in general,
a dangerous allowance; and, with regard to our sex, a very unequal one;
since, while the man has nothing to fear, the woman has every thing, from
the privileges that may be claimed, in an acknowledged confidence,
especially in presence. Miss Grandison thus interprets what he said, and
strengthens her opinion by some of Dr. Bartlett's late intimations, that
he really loves me; but not being at liberty to avow his love, he knew
not what to say; and so went as near to a declaration as was possible to
do in his circumstances.

But might I not expect, from such a profession of friendship in Sir
Charles, an offer of correspondence in absence? And if he made the
offer, ought I to decline it? Would it not indicate too much on my side,
were I to do so?--And does it not on his, if he make not the offer? He
corresponds with Mrs. Beaumont: nobody thinks that any thing can be meant
by that correspondence on either side; because Mrs. Beaumont must be at
least forty; Sir Charles but six or seven and twenty: but if he makes not
the request to Harriet, who is but little more than twenty; what, after
such professions of a friendship so tender, will be inferred from his
forbearance?

But I shall puzzle myself, and you too, Lucy, if I go on with this sort
of reasoning; because I shall not know how to put all I mean into words.
Have I not already puzzled you? I think my expression is weak and
perplexed--But this offered and accepted friendship between two persons
not indelicate, must be perplexing; since he is the only young man in the
world, from whom a woman has no dishonour to fear.--Ah, Lucy!--It would
be vanity in me, would it not? to suppose that he had more to fear from
Harriet, than she has from him; as the virtue of either, I hope, is not
questionable? But the event of his Italian visit will explain and
reconcile every thing.

I will encourage a drowsy fit that seems to be stealing upon me. If I
have not written with the perspicuity I always aim at, allow, Lucy, for
the time of night; for spirits not high; and for the subject, that having
its delicacies, as well as uncertainties, I am not able to write clearly
upon it.

LETTER XIX

MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION
SATURDAY NIGHT, APRIL 9.

Sir Charles is already returne