wife," she said to herself; and remembered as she said it, that
in reference to the prospect of her being Lady Peterborough, the man
who was to be Lord Peterborough was at any rate ready to make her his
wife, and on that side there were none of those difficulties about
house, and money, and position which stood in the way of the Hugh
Stanbury side of the question. She was not, she thought, fit to be
the wife of a very poor man; but she conceived of herself that she
would do very well as a future Lady Peterborough in the drawing-rooms
of Monkhams. She was so far vain as to fancy that she could look,
and speak, and move, and have her being after the fashion which is
approved for the Lady Peterboroughs of the world. It was not clear
to her that Nature had not expressly intended her to be a Lady
Peterborough; whereas, as far as she could see, Nature had not
intended her to be a Mrs. Hugh Stanbury, with a precarious income of
perhaps ten guineas a week when journalism was doing well. So she
moved on to another little eminence to think of it there. It was
clear to her that if she should accept Mr. Glascock she would sell
herself, and not give herself away; and she had told herself scores
of times before this, that a young woman should give herself away,
and not sell herself;--should either give herself away, or keep
herself to herself as circumstances might go. She had been quite sure
that she would never sell herself. But this was a lesson which she
had taught herself when she was very young, before she had come to
understand the world and its hard necessities. Nothing, she now told
herself, could be worse than to hang like a mill-stone round the neck
of a poor man. It might be a very good thing to give herself away for
love,--but it would not be a good thing to be the means of ruining
the man she loved, even if that man were willing to be so ruined.
And then she thought that she could also love that other man a
little,--could love him sufficiently for comfortable domestic
purposes. And it would undoubtedly be very pleasant to have all the
troubles of her life settled for her. If she were Mrs. Glascock,
known to the world as the future Lady Peterborough, would it not be
within her power to bring her sister and her sister's husband again
together? The tribute of the Monkhams' authority and influence to her
sister's side of the question would be most salutary. She tried to
make herself believe that in this way she would be doin