lders. But things
have been done of late, and words have been spoken, and
habits have displayed themselves, which would not, I am
sure, conduce to our mutual comfort in this world, or to
our assistance to each other in our struggles to reach the
happiness of the world to come.
I think that you will agree with me, Camilla, that when
a man or a woman has fallen into such a mistake as
that which I have now made, it is best that it should
be acknowledged. I know well that such a change of
arrangements as that which I now propose will be regarded
most unfavourably. But will not anything be better than
the binding of a matrimonial knot which cannot be again
unloosed, and which we should both regret?
I do not know that I need add anything further. What can
I add further? Only this;--that I am inflexible. Having
resolved to take this step,--and to bear the evil things
that may be said of me,--for your happiness and for my own
tranquility,--I shall not now relinquish my resolution. I
do not ask you to forgive me. I doubt much whether I shall
ever be quite able to forgive myself. The mistake which
I have made is one which should not have been committed.
I do not ask you to forgive me; but I do ask you to pray
that I may be forgiven.
Yours, with feelings of the truest friendship,
THOMAS GIBSON.
The letter had been very difficult, but he was rather proud of it
than otherwise when it was completed. He had felt that he was writing
a letter which not improbably might become public property. It was
necessary that he should be firm, that he should accuse himself a
little in order that he might excuse himself much, and that he should
hint at causes which might justify the rupture, though he should
so veil them as not to appear to defend his own delinquency by
ungenerous counter-accusation. When he had completed the letter,
he thought that he had done all this rather well, and he sent the
despatch off to Heavitree by the clerk of St. Peter's Church, with
something of that feeling of expressible relief which attends the
final conquest over some fatal and all but insuperable misfortune. He
thought that he was sure now that he would not have to marry Camilla
on the 29th of the month,--and there would probably be a period of
some hours before he would be called upon to hear or read Camilla's
reply.
Camilla was alone when she received the letter, but
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