on't suppose I should
live after it. I don't indeed. But that should not signify to you."
"I don't suppose that any man was ever before in such a terrible
position since the world began."
"It is difficult;--I am sure of that, Thomas."
"And I have meant to be so true. I fancy sometimes that some
mysterious agency interferes with the affairs of a man, and drives
him on,--and on,--and on,--almost,--till he doesn't know where it
drives him." As he said this in a voice that was quite sepulchral
in its tone, he felt some consolation in the conviction that this
mysterious agency could not affect a man without embuing him with
a certain amount of grandeur,--very uncomfortable, indeed, in its
nature, but still having considerable value as a counterpoise. Pride
must bear pain;--but pain is recompensed by pride.
"She is so strong, Thomas, that she can put up with anything," said
Arabella, in a whisper.
"Strong;--yes," said he, with a shudder;--"she is strong enough."
"And as for love--"
"Don't talk about it," said he, getting up from his chair. "Don't
talk about it. You will drive me frantic."
"You know what my feelings are, Thomas; you have always known them.
There has been no change since I was the young thing you first knew
me." As she spoke, she just touched his hand with hers; but he did
not seem to notice this, sitting with his elbow on the arm of his
chair and his forehead on his hand. In reply to what she said to him,
he merely shook his head,--not intending to imply thereby any doubt
of the truth of her assertion. "You have now to make up your mind and
to be bold, Thomas," continued Arabella. "She says that you are a
coward; but I know that you are no coward. I told her so, and she
said that I was interfering. Oh,--that she should be able to tell me
that I interfere when I defend you!"
"I must go," said Mr. Gibson, jumping up from his chair. "I must go.
Bella, I cannot stand this any longer. It is too much for me. I will
pray that I may decide aright. God bless you!" Then he kissed her
brow as she lay in bed, and hurried out of the room.
He had hoped to go from the house without further converse with any
of its inmates; for his mind was disturbed, and he longed to be at
rest. But he was not allowed to escape so easily. Camilla met him at
the dining-room door, and accosted him with a smile. There had been
time for much meditation during the last half hour, and Camilla had
meditated. "How do you find
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