im into mischief;
you know the greatness of the sin of disobedience, and the fearful
responsibility incurred by conducing to it in others. Do not help to
lead him astray for the sake of--of vanity--of amusement."
Something in the manner in which he pronounced these words conveyed to
Beatrice a sense of the emptiness and worthlessness of her motives,
and she answered earnestly, "I was wrong, papa; I know it is a love of
saying clever things that often leads me wrong. It was so to-day, for
I could have stopped myself, but for the pleasure of making fun. It is
vanity, and I will try to subdue it."
Beatrice had a sort of candid way of reasoning about her faults, and
would blame herself, and examine her motives in a manner which disarmed
reproof by forestalling it. She was perfectly sincere, yet it was
self-deception, for it was not as if it was herself whom she was
analysing, but rather as if it was some character in a book; indeed, she
would have described herself almost exactly as she is here described,
except that her delineation would have been much more clever and more
exact. She would not have spared herself--for this reason, that her
own character was more a study to her than a reality, her faults rather
circumstances than sins; it was her mind, rather than her soul, that
reflected and made resolutions, or more correctly, what would have been
resolutions, if they had possessed any real earnestness, and not been
done, as it were, mechanically, because they became the occasion.
The conversation was concluded by the sound of the luncheon bell, and
she ran up to take off her bonnet, her thoughts taking the following
course: "I am very sorry; it is too bad to tease poor Fred, cruel and
wrong, and all that, only if he would not look absurd! It is too droll
to see how provoked he is, when I take the least notice of Alex, and
after all, I don't think he cares for me half as much as Alex does, only
it flatters his vanity. Those great boys are really quite as vain as
girls, not Alex though, good downright fellow, who would do anything for
me, and I have put him to a hard proof to-night. What a capital thought
those charades are! Fred will meet the others on common, nay, on
superior ground, and there will be none of these foolish questions who
can be most manly mad. Fred is really a fine spirited fellow though, and
I thought papa could not find it in his heart to be angry with him. How
capitally he will act, and how lovely
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