our own
two selves; but when we had spoken our fill on such matters it was but
natural we should come back to the situation in which our troops were
placed, and, greatly to my surprise, I found that my father despaired
of success in much the same measure as did Bill Jepson.

"We can only do our best, lad, and for your mother's sake we'll pray
that both of us may go back to Benedict; but if only one, then it
should be you, who have promise of so many more years of life than I."

We were yet speaking of matters much too private to be set down in a
story like this, when the command came for all the men of Commodore
Barney's force to fall into line, and on the instant we understood
that we were to join the small army led by General Winder.

I know not how it was we were so confident as to our destination,
except that the general and our commander had been long in
consultation before this day; but certain it is we felt positive all
of us were about to retrace our steps.

And now, while our men are scurrying to and fro making ready for
another march before having recovered from the one just ended, let me
set down here what I afterward read in print, for it will serve to
explain why we did not do that which the country expected, and even
demanded:

"Winder's situation was an unenviable one.[A] With a comparatively
strong foe on his front, ready to fall upon him or the capital he was
expected to defend, he had only about twenty-five hundred armed and
effective men in camp, and many of these had been from their homes
only three or four days. They were undisciplined and untried, and
surrounded and influenced by a crowd of excited civilians, to whose
officious but well-intended information and advice the general was
compelled to listen. In addition to this intrusion and interference of
common men, he was embarrassed by the presence and suggestions of the
President and his Cabinet ministers, the most of them utterly ignorant
of military affairs. Better would it have been for Winder and the
country if these civilians, from the President down, had kept away
from the camp and the field, and prudently preserved silence."

[A] Lossing's "War of 1812."

As a matter of course, we of the rank and file knew very little
concerning the trials of the officer who was charged with the defense
of the city; but we did understand that our force was not sufficient
in either discipline or numbers to cope with that which we must meet,
yet I