ng it handy she would go to
hell. I couldn't see where she put it the first time, I couldn't see now
where she took it from; it seemed to jump into her hand like that
Blavatsky business in the papers. But it's the same way with all island
women, and I guess they're taught it when young.

"Now," said I, with the certificate in my hand, "I was married to this
girl by Black Jack the negro. The certificate was wrote by Case, and
it's a dandy piece of literature, I promise you. Since then I've found
that there's a kind of cry in the place against this wife of mine, and
so long as I keep her I cannot trade. Now, what would any man do in my
place, if he was a man?" I said. "The first thing he would do is this, I
guess." And I took and tore up the certificate and bunged the pieces on
the floor.

"_Aue_!"[3] cried Uma, and began to clap her hands; but I caught one of
them in mine.

"And the second thing that he would do," said I, "if he was what I would
call a man and you would call a man, Mr. Tarleton, is to bring the girl
right before you or any other missionary, and to up and say: 'I was
wrong married to this wife of mine, but I think a heap of her, and now I
want to be married to her right.' Fire away, Mr. Tarleton. And I guess
you'd better do it in native; it'll please the old lady," I said, giving
her the proper name of a man's wife upon the spot.

So we had in two of the crew for to witness, and were spliced in our own
house; and the parson prayed a good bit, I must say--but not so long as
some--and shook hands with the pair of us.

"Mr. Wiltshire," he says, when he had made out the lines and packed off
the witnesses, "I have to thank you for a very lively pleasure. I have
rarely performed the marriage ceremony with more grateful emotions."

That was what you would call talking. He was going on, besides, with
more of it, and I was ready for as much taffy as he had in stock, for I
felt good. But Uma had been taken up with something half through the
marriage, and cut straight in.

"How your hand he get hurt?" she asked.

"You ask Case's head, old lady," says I.

She jumped with joy, and sang out.

"You haven't made much of a Christian of this one," says I to Mr.
Tarleton.

"We didn't think her one of our worst," says he, "when she was at
Fale-alii; and if Uma bears malice I shall be tempted to fancy she has
good cause."

"Well, there we are at service number two," said I. "I want to tell you
our yarn, and se