FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   148   149   150   151   152   153   154   155   156   157   158   159   160   161   162   163   164   165   166   167   168   169   170   171   172  
173   174   175   176   177   178   179   180   181   182   183   184   185   186   187   188   189   190   191   192   193   194   >>  
ghts came. He put aside his trouble, and helped her to mount her horse. They rode along the beach slowly together. She was content to go slowly. She looked physically too exhausted to ride fast. Even yet probably, within her heart, the conflict was going forward that had only been well begun in her brief solitude of the sand valley. Caius looked at her from time to time with feelings of fierce indignation and dejection. The indignation was against Le Maitre, the dejection was wholly upon his own account; for he felt that his plan of help had failed, and that where he had hoped to give strength and comfort, he had only, in utter weakness, exacted pity. Caius had one virtue in these days: he did not admire anything that he did, and he did not even think much about the self he scorned. With regard to Josephine, he felt that if her philosophy of life were true it was not for him to presume to pity her. So vividly had she brought her conception of the use of life before him that it was stamped upon his mind in a brief series of pictures, clear, indelible; and the last picture was one of which he could not think clearly, but it produced in him an idea of the after-life which he had not before. Then he thought again of the cloud under which Josephine was entering. Her decision would in all probability cut down her bright, useful life to a few short years of struggle and shame and sorrow. At last he spoke: "But why do you think it right to sacrifice yourself to this man? It does not seem to me right." He knew then what clearness of thought she had, for she looked with almost horror in her face. "Sacrifice myself for Le Maitre! Oh no! I should have no right to do that; but to the ideal right, to God--yes. If I withheld anything from God, how could I win my soul?" "But how do you know God requires this?" "Ah! I told you before. Why will you not understand? I have prayed. I know God has taken this thing in his own hand." Caius said no more. Josephine's way of looking at this thing might not be true; that was not what he was considering just then. He knew that it was intensely true for her, would remain true for her until the event of death proved it true or false. This was the factor in the present problem that was the enemy to his scheme. Then, furthermore, whether it were true or false, he knew that there was in his mind the doubt, and that doubt would remain with him, and it would prevent him from killing Le
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   148   149   150   151   152   153   154   155   156   157   158   159   160   161   162   163   164   165   166   167   168   169   170   171   172  
173   174   175   176   177   178   179   180   181   182   183   184   185   186   187   188   189   190   191   192   193   194   >>  



Top keywords:

Josephine

 

looked

 
Maitre
 
thought
 

dejection

 
slowly
 

remain

 
indignation
 

bright

 

factor


killing
 

sacrifice

 

proved

 

present

 

sorrow

 

prevent

 

struggle

 

scheme

 

problem

 

withheld


understand
 

requires

 
prayed
 

clearness

 

horror

 
intensely
 

Sacrifice

 

stamped

 

solitude

 

forward


conflict

 

valley

 

account

 

failed

 

wholly

 
feelings
 

fierce

 

helped

 

trouble

 

exhausted


physically

 

content

 

indelible

 

picture

 

pictures

 
series
 
brought
 

conception

 
produced
 

entering