l made
up of the most exquisite dainties, to be eaten up by his servants; and
this they do that nothing should be lost that is so delicate. The men
are thick and fat to a miracle; nor will any one salute another whose
chin does not come to the midst of his breast, and his paunch falls to
his knees. The women are not unlike them, and in shape resemble the
Italians, and have breasts like the Hottentots. They go almost naked,
having no regard to their garments. The magistrates and persons of
better figure have gowns made of the skins of such beasts as they have
eaten at one meal. All wear a knife, with a large spoon, hanging upon
their right arm. Before their breasts they wear a smooth skin, instead
of a napkin, to receive what falls out of their mouths, and to wipe them
upon occasion; which whether it be more black or greasy, is hard to
determine.

They are of a very slow apprehension, and no way fit for any science;
but yet understand such arts as they have occasion for. Their schools
are public-houses, where they are educated in the sciences of eating,
drinking, and carving; over which, one Archisilenius, an exquisite
Epicure, was then provost, who, instead of grammar, read some fragments
of Apicius. Instead of a library, there is a public repository of
drinking-vessels, in which cups of all orders and sizes are disposed
into certain classes. Cups and dishes are instead of books. The younger
scholars have less, the elder have greater; one has a quart, the other a
pottle, the other a gallon: this has a hen, that a goose, a third a lamb
or a porker: nor have they any liberty, or recess, till the whole is
finished; and if by a seven years' stuffing they are no proficients in
fatness, are presently banished into the Fancetic Islands; nor are they
suffered long to stay there idle and without improvement. Hither
likewise are sent all physicians who prescribe a course of diet to any
person. When any one is sick, without recourse to AEsculapius, they make
him eat radish, and drink warm water; which, according to Celsus, will
purge and vomit him. Venison is that which they most delight in; but
they never take it in hunting, but by nets and gins. They look upon the
swine as the most profitable and best of all animals; whether it is for
the likeness of its manners, as being good for nothing but the table, or
else from its growing fat on the sudden with the worst of nutriment. It
may not seem credible, yet parsimony appears in the