l bloom! How sparkling and radiant he is,
with something smart and pleasant to say to every one! How thoroughly happy
and easy he is; and what a contrast to phlegmatic John Bull, who stands
with his great red fists doubled, looking as if he thought whoever spoke to
him would be wanting him to endorse a bill of exchange! But, as we said
before, the dread hour before dinner is an awful time in the
country--frightful when there are two hours, and never a subject in common
for the company to work upon. Laverick Wells and their mutual acquaintance
was all Sponge and Jawleyford's stock-in-trade; and that was a very small
capital to begin upon, for they had been there together too short a time to
make much of a purse of conversation. Even the young ladies, with their
inquiries after the respective flirtations--how Miss Sawney and Captain
Snubnose were 'getting on'? and whether the rich Widow Spankley was likely
to bring Sir Thomas Greedey to book?--failed to make up a conversation; for
Sponge knew little of the ins and outs of these matters, his attention
having been more directed to Mr. Waffles than any one else. Still, the
mere questions, put in a playful, womanly way, helped the time on, and
prevented things coming to that frightful deadlock of silence, that causes
an involuntary inward exclamation of 'How _am I_ to get through the time
with this man?' There are people who seem to think that sitting and looking
at each other constitutes society. Women have a great advantage over men in
the talking way; they have always something to say. Let a lot of women be
huddled together throughout the whole of a livelong day, and they will yet
have such a balance of conversation at night, as to render it necessary to
convert a bedroom into a clearing-house, to get rid of it. Men, however,
soon get high and dry, especially before dinner; and a host ought to be at
liberty to read the Riot Act, and disperse them to their bedrooms, till
such times as they wanted to eat and drink.

A most scientifically sounded gong, beginning low, like distant thunder,
and gradually increasing its murmur till it filled the whole mansion with
its roar, at length relieved all parties from the labour of further
efforts; and, looking at his watch, Jawleyford asked Mrs. Jawleyford, in an
innocent, indifferent sort of way, which was Mr. Sponge's room; though he
had been fussing about it not long before, and dusting the portrait of
himself in his green-and-gold yeo