st,--gloss it over as I will,--to harbour thoughts which before
this your Ladyship is acquainted with.--Did you not blush for me?--did
you not in contempt throw aside my letter?--Undoubtedly you did.--Go,
you said.--I am sure, dear Madam, you _must_ let me not again behold the
weakness of that poor silly girl.--But this is my hope, you are not apt
to judge unfavourably, _even_ in circumstances that will scarce admit of
palliation.--Tell me, my dear Lady, I am pardoned; tell me so, and I
shall never be again unhappy.--How charming, to have _peace_ and
_tranquility_ restor'd, when I fear'd they were for _ever_ banish'd my
breast!--I welcomed the friends;--my heart bounded at their return;--I
smiled on them;--soothed them;--and promised never more to drive them
out.

Thank you, Lord Allen;--again, I thank you:--can I ever be too
grateful?--You have been instrumental to my repose.

The company that dined at the Abbey yesterday were Lord and Lady Allen,
Lord Baily, Mr. Mrs. and Miss Winter.--This was the first day I changed
my mourning;--a white lutestring, with the fine suit of rough garnets
your Ladyship gave me, was my dress on the occasion.--But let me proceed
to the incident for which I stand indebted for the secret tranquility,
the innate repose I now possess in a _superlative_ degree.--

When I went to Mr. Jenkings's to dress for dinner, Lord Darcey attended
me, as usual:--the coach was to fetch us.--I thought I never saw his
Lordship in such high good humour; what I mean is, I never saw him in
such spirits.--To speak the truth, his temper always appears
unruffled;--sometimes a little gloomy; but I suppose he is not exempted
from the common ills of life.--He entertained me on the way with a
description of the company expected, interlarding his conversation with
observations tending to raise my vanity. Notwithstanding his seeming
sincerity, I was proof against such insinuations.--If he had stopp'd
_there_,--well, if he had stop'd _there_;--what then?--Why then,
perhaps, I should not have betray'd the weakness of my heart.--But I
hope thy confusion pass'd unobserv'd;--I hope it was not seen before I
could draw my handkerchief from my pocket: if it should, heavens! the
very thought has dyed me scarlet.

I am running on as though your Ladyship had been present in Mr.
Jenkings's parlour,--in the coach,--and at table, whither I must conduct
you, my dear Lady, if your patience will bear a minute
_recital_.--First, then,