much as a stoker passes coal to
a boiler, while the sound of a crashing platter in the butler's pantry
gave evidence that the second girl was a house wrecker.

"See here, Ma!" Gray threw down his napkin. "You have a beautiful home,
and you want it to be perfect, don't you?"

"Why, of Course. We bought everything we' could buy--"

"Everything except skillful servants, and they are hard to find. You
are capable of training your cook and teaching your upstairs girl to
sweep and make beds; but the test of a well-run house is a well-served
meal. Dish-breaking ought to be a felony, and when I become President I
propose to make the spoiling of food a capital offense. Now then,
you're not eating a bite, anyhow, and Gus won't mind waiting awhile for
his dinner. With your permission, I'd like to take things in hand and
add a hundred per cent to your future comfort?"

In some bewilderment Ma agreed that she would do anything her guest
suggested, whereupon he rose energetically and called the three
domestics into the dining room.

"We are going to start this dinner all over again," he announced, "and
we are going to begin by swapping places. I am going to serve it as a
dinner should be served, and you are going to eat it as--Well, I dare
say nature will have to take its course. I shall explain, as I go
along, and I want you to remember every word I say, every move I make.
Mr. and Mrs. Briskow are going to look on. After we have finished you
are going to serve us exactly as I served you."

Naturally, this proposition amazed the "help"; in fact, its absurdity
convulsed them. The man laughed loudly; the cook buried her ebony face
in her apron; the second girl bent double with mirth. Here was a quaint
gentleman, indeed, and a great joker. But the gentleman was not joking.
On the contrary, he brought this levity to an abrupt end, then,
gravely, ceremoniously, he seated the trio. They sobered quickly enough
at this; they became, in fact, as funereal as three crows; but their
astonishment at what followed was no greater than that of the Briskows.

Gray played butler with a correctness and a poise deeply impressive to
his round-eyed audience, and as he served the courses he delivered a
lecture upon the etiquette of domestic service, the art of cooking, and
the various niceties of a servant's calling. Nothing could have been
more impressive than being waited upon by a person of his magnificence,
and his lecture, moreover, was delive