stop a physician
in the street to talk with him about their livers or stomachs, or other
internal arrangements, instead of going to his office and consulting
him, expecting to pay for his advice. Others are more like those busy
women who, having the generous intention of making a handsome present
to their pastor, at as little expense as may be, send to all their
neighbors and acquaintances for scraps of various materials, out of
which the imposing "bedspread" or counterpane is to be elaborated.

That is all very well so long as old pieces of stuff are all they call
for, but it is a different matter to ask for clippings out of new and
uncut rolls of cloth. So it is one thing to ask an author for liberty
to use extracts from his published writings, and it is a very different
thing to expect him to write expressly for the editor's or compiler's
piece of literary patchwork.

I have received many questions within the last year or two, some of
which I am willing to answer, but prefer to answer at my own time, in my
own way, through my customary channel of communication with the public.
I hope I shall not be misunderstood as implying any reproach against the
inquirers who, in order to get at facts which ought to be known, apply
to all whom they can reach for information. Their inquisitiveness is
not always agreeable or welcome, but we ought to be glad that there are
mousing fact-hunters to worry us with queries to which, for the sake
of the public, we are bound to give our attention. Let me begin with my
brain-tappers.

And first, as the papers have given publicity to the fact that I, The
Dictator of this tea-table, have reached the age of threescore years and
twenty, I am requested to give information as to how I managed to do it,
and to explain just how they can go and do likewise. I think I can lay
down a few rules that will help them to the desired result. There is
no certainty in these biological problems, but there are reasonable
probabilities upon which it is safe to act.

The first thing to be done is, some years before birth, to advertise for
a couple of parents both belonging to long-lived families. Especially
let the mother come of a race in which octogenarians and nonagenarians
are very common phenomena. There are practical difficulties in following
out this suggestion, but possibly the forethought of your progenitors,
or that concurrence of circumstances which we call accident, may have
arranged this for you.