r a gentleman's diversion. Though one
may be squeezed by the crowd, one must look as though one were fully
assured of being the observer--of having neither part nor lot with the
observed. At the same time, to stare fixedly about one is unbecoming;
for that, again, is ungentlemanly, seeing that no spectacle is worth an
open stare--are no spectacles in the world which merit from a gentleman
too pronounced an inspection.

However, to me personally the scene DID seem to be worth undisguised
contemplation--more especially in view of the fact that I had come
there not only to look at, but also to number myself sincerely and
wholeheartedly with, the mob. As for my secret moral views, I had no
room for them amongst my actual, practical opinions. Let that stand as
written: I am writing only to relieve my conscience. Yet let me say
also this: that from the first I have been consistent in having an
intense aversion to any trial of my acts and thoughts by a moral
standard. Another standard altogether has directed my life....

As a matter of fact, the mob was playing in exceedingly foul fashion.
Indeed, I have an idea that sheer robbery was going on around that
gaming-table. The croupiers who sat at the two ends of it had not only
to watch the stakes, but also to calculate the game--an immense amount
of work for two men! As for the crowd itself--well, it consisted mostly
of Frenchmen. Yet I was not then taking notes merely in order to be
able to give you a description of roulette, but in order to get my
bearings as to my behaviour when I myself should begin to play. For
example, I noticed that nothing was more common than for another's hand
to stretch out and grab one's winnings whenever one had won. Then there
would arise a dispute, and frequently an uproar; and it would be a case
of "I beg of you to prove, and to produce witnesses to the fact, that
the stake is yours."

At first the proceedings were pure Greek to me. I could only divine and
distinguish that stakes were hazarded on numbers, on "odd" or "even,"
and on colours. Polina's money I decided to risk, that evening, only to
the amount of 100 gulden. The thought that I was not going to play for
myself quite unnerved me. It was an unpleasant sensation, and I tried
hard to banish it. I had a feeling that, once I had begun to play for
Polina, I should wreck my own fortunes. Also, I wonder if any one has
EVER approached a gaming-table without falling an immediate prey to
super