, when I come in, when I eat, and when I
sleep, never can I enjoy an instant's peace; above all, at meal-time she
has been making such a martyr of me that I cannot eat half as much as I
ought, and even then it troubles me to digest it. I cannot go on in this
way without danger of losing my health. Great evils require heroic
remedies; one day I took the revolver, and said to her: 'If at table you
say another word to disturb me, I will put an ounce of lead into your
head.'

"That was a happy idea, for since that time she has not said a single
word more, and to-day only by taking advantage of your presence did she
make a few indirect insinuations. My servant has been charged, when
setting the table, to place the revolver by my plate.... Perhaps you
will imagine that she is jealous of some definite person, and that I am
doing wrong not to break loose from this person, and thus avoid all
occasion for torment; but there is nothing of the sort. Each day she is
jealous of some different woman, and never once hits the truth. Man
alive! to show you how stupid she is, I will tell you that day before
yesterday a good lady, whom I happened never to mention to her, sent me
a couple of dozen tarts; and she, without any more ado, flung the
platter on the floor, and began to berate the servant like a
sardine-woman. Tell me now if I don't need patience, and if it would not
have been better for me to have had all the bones in my body broken than
marry this calamity!"

Uncle Manolo ceased speaking, and continued silent for a long time,
brooding over his sad thoughts. Miguel dared not disturb them, since he
knew too well that it was hopeless for him to offer him any advice.
Finally, that magnanimous man, richer every day in tribulations, stopped
again, and asked his nephew, with severe intonation:--

"Tell me, Miguel, don't you know any place now infested by the cholera
or any other contagious disease?"

"No, uncle; I do not," replied Miguel, struggling hard not to laugh.
"What a strange idea! Do you wish to murder your wife?"

"Man! no, of course not to murder her. I only thought in any case of
letting nature have its perfect work.... But could I have a blacker
fate? Just imagine! I learn from a medical friend that Madrid is full of
fevers and pneumonia, caused by the bad custom of riding on the Prado in
September. Well now, after many entreaties, and 'making myself into
syrup' to accomplish it, I succeeded in getting my wife out to d