The Project Gutenberg EBook of Lighter Than You Think, by Nelson Bond

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Title: Lighter Than You Think

Author: Nelson Bond

Release Date: August 15, 2009 [EBook #29698]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

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_It's possible that you won't agree with us that Pat Pending's
latest adventure is a delightful story--possible IF you haven't been
used to laughing in recent years. Blue Book printed more than a
dozen of these stories by Nelson Bond about the "greatest
inventulator of all time"._

lighter
than
you
think

_by NELSON BOND_

Sandy's eyes needed only jet propulsion to become flying
saucers. Wasn't Pat wonderful? she beamed, at everyone.

Some joker in the dear, dead days now virtually beyond recall won
two-bit immortality by declaring that, "What this country needs is a
good five-cent cigar."

Which is, of course, Victorian malarkey. What this country _really_
needs is a good five-cent nickel. Or perhaps a good cigar-shaped
spaceship. There's a fortune waiting somewhere out in space for the man
who can go out there and claim it. A fortune! And if you think I'm just
talking through my hat, lend an ear ...

Joyce started the whole thing. Or maybe I did when for the umpteenth
time I suggested she should marry me. She smiled in a way that showed
she didn't disapprove of my persistence, but loosed a salvo of
devastating negatives.

"No deal," she crisped decisively. "Know why? No dough!"

"But, sugar," I pleaded, "two can live as cheaply as one--"

"This is true," replied Joyce, "only of guppies. Understand, Don, I
don't mind changing my name from Carter to Mallory. In fact, I'd rather
like to. But I have no desire whatever to be known to the neighbors as
'that poor little Mrs. Mallory in last year's coat.'

"I'll marry you," she continued firmly, "when, as and if you get a
promotion."

Her answer was by no stretch of the imagination a reason for loud
cheers, handsprings and cartwheels. Because I'm