His discourse is commonly the annals of his mayoralty, and what good
government there was in the days of his gold chain, though the door posts
were the only things that suffered reformation. He seems most sincerely
religious, especially on solemn days; for he comes often to church to make
a shew, [and is a part of the quire hangings.] He is the highest stair of
his profession, and an example to his trade, what in time they may come
to. He makes very much of his authority, but more of his sattin doublet,
which, though of good years, bears its age very well, and looks fresh
every Sunday: but his scarlet gown is a monument, and lasts from
generation to generation.

VI.

A DISCONTENTED MAN

Is one that is fallen out with the world, and will be revenged on himself.
Fortune has denied him in something, and he now takes pet, and will be
miserable in spite. The root of his disease is a self-humouring pride, and
an accustomed tenderness not to be crossed in his fancy; and the occasion
commonly of one of these three, a hard father, a peevish wench, or his
ambition thwarted. He considered not the nature of the world till he felt
it, and all blows fall on him heavier, because they light not first on his
expectation. He has now foregone all but his pride, and is yet
vain-glorious in the ostentation of his melancholy. His composure of
himself is a studied carelessness, with his arms across, and a neglected
hanging of his head and cloak; and he is as great an enemy to an hat-band,
as fortune. He quarrels at the time and up-starts, and sighs at the
neglect of men of parts, that is, such as himself. His life is a perpetual
satyr, and he is still girding[16] the age's vanity, when this very anger
shews he too much esteems it. He is much displeased to see men merry, and
wonders what they can find to laugh at. He never draws his own lips higher
than a smile, and frowns wrinkle him before forty. He at last falls into
that deadly melancholy to be a bitter hater of men, and is the most apt
companion for any mischief. He is the spark that kindles the commonwealth,
and the bellows himself to blow it: and if he turn anything, it is
commonly one of these, either friar, traitor, or mad-man.

FOOTNOTES:

[16] To _gird_, is to sneer at, or scorn any one. Falstaff says, "men of
all sorts take a pride to _gird_ at me."--_Henry IV. Part 2._

VII.

AN ANTIQUARY;

He is a man strangly thrifty of time past, and an enemy indeed to