oys being an elder brother, and leading the kids on in mischief or
jolly times.

I was having drinks one Saturday night, after the show, with Dad, in a
scintillating Highbury saloon, when there was a sudden commotion in the
passage. A cascade of voices; a chatter of feet; the yelping of a dog.

"What's that?" I murmured, half interested.

"Only the bother and the gawdfers," he answered.

"Eh?"

"I said it's the bother and the gawdfers.... Rhyming slang, silly ass.
The Missus and the kids. Bother-and-strife ... wife. Gawd-forbids ...
kids. See? Here they come. No more mouth-shooting for us, now."

They came. Mumdear came first--very large, submerged in a feather boa
and a feathered hat! salmon pink as to the bust, cream silk as to the
skirt. The kids came next, two of the sweetest, merriest girls I know.
Miss Fifteen simply tumbled with brown curls and smiles; she was of The
Gay Glowworms, a troupe of dancers. Miss Thirteen tripped over the dog
and entered with a volley of giggles and a tempest of light stockinged
legs, which spent themselves at once when she observed me. In a wink she
became the demure maiden. She had long, straight hair to the waist, and
the pure candour of her face gave her the air of an Italian madonna. She
was of The Casino Juveniles. We had met before, so she sidled up to me
and inquired how I was and what's doing. Within half a minute I was
besieged by tossing hair and excited hands, and an avalanche of talk
about shop, what they were doing, where they were this week, where next,
future openings, and so forth; all of which was cut short by the
good-humouredly gruff voice of the landlord, inquiring--

"That young lady over fourteen?"

"Well ... er ... she looks it, don't she?" said Dad.

"Dessay she does. But is she?"

"Well ... tell you the truth, Ernest, she ain't. But she will be soon."

"Well, she can come back then. But she's got to go now."

"Righto! Come on, Joyce. You got the bird. Here, Maudie, take her home.
Both of you. Straight home, mind. And get the supper ready. And don't
forget to turn the dog out. And here--get yourselves some chocolates,
little devils." He pulled out a handful of silver. "There you are--all
the change I've got."

He gave Maudie four shillings, and Joyce half a crown--for chocolates;
and Maudie tripped out with flustered hair and laughing ribbons, and
Joyce fell over the dog, and the swing-doors caught her midwise, and
there was a succession of screa