a mere headache compelled
her to leave the dance, she hurried by the wood-path back to Semb.
The evening was beautiful, but Susanna was blind to all its splendours;
she remarked not the twinkling of the bright stars, not how they
mirrored themselves in the ladies-mantle, which stood full of pure
crystal water; she heard not the rushing of the river, nor the song of
the pine-thrush; for never before, in her breast, had Barbra and Sanna
contended more violently.
"They despise me!" cried the former; "they cast me off, they trample me
under their feet. They think me not worthy to be near them; the haughty,
heartless people! But have they indeed a right to hold themselves so
much above me, because I am not so fine, so learned as they; because I
am--poor? No, that have they not, for I can earn my own bread, and go my
own way through the world as well as any of them. And if they will be
proud, then I can be ten times prouder. I need not to humble myself
before them! One is just as good as another!"
"Ah!" now began Sanna, and painful tears began to flow down her cheeks,
"one is not just as good as another, and education and training make a
great difference between people. It is not pleasant for a man to blush
for the ignorance of his wife; neither can one expect that anybody would
teach a person of my age; nor can they look into my heart and see how
willingly I would learn, and--and Harald, whom I thought wished me well,
whom I loved so much, whom I would willingly serve with my whole heart
and life--how coldly he spoke of me, who just before so warmly--Harald,
why shouldst thou fool my heart so, if thou carest so little for what it
feels, what it suffers?"
"But," and here again began Barbra, "thou thinkest merely on thyself;
thou art an egotist, like all thy sex. And he seems to be so sure of me!
He seems not to ask whether I will; no--only whether he graciously
should. Let him try! let him make the attempt! and he shall see that he
has deceived himself, the proud gentleman! He shall see that a poor
girl, without connexions, without friends, solitary in the wide world,
can yet refuse him who thinks that he condescends _so_ to her. Be easy,
Miss Alette! the poor despised Susanna is too proud to thrust herself
into a haughty family; because, in truth, she feels herself too good for
that."
But Susanna was very much excited, and very unhappy, as she said this.
She had now reached Semb. Lights streamed from the bedroom o
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