the work done the better should be his wages. Then he had
encountered a blow--a heavy blow from a false woman--and he had boasted
to himself that he had borne it well, as a man should bear all blows.
And now, after all these resolves and all these boastings, he found
himself brought by his own weakness to such a pass that he hardly dared
to look in the face any of his dearest and most intimate friends.

He was not remiss in telling himself all this. He did draw the
comparison ruthlessly between the character which he had intended to
make his own and that which he now had justly earned. He did not excuse
himself. We are told to love others as ourselves, and it is hard to do
so. But I think that we never hate others, never despise others, as we
are sometimes compelled by our own convictions and self-judgment to hate
and to despise ourselves. Harry, as he walked home on this evening, was
lost in disgust at his own conduct. He could almost have hit his head
against the walls, or thrown himself beneath the wagons as he passed
them, so thoroughly was he ashamed of his own life. Even now, on this
evening, he had escaped from Onslow Crescent--basely escaped--without
having declared any purpose. Twice on this day he had escaped, almost by
subterfuges; once from Burton's office, and now again from Cecilia's
presence. How long was this to go on, or how could life be endurable to
him under such circumstances?

In parting from Cecilia, and promising to write at once, and promising
to come again in a few days, he had had some idea in his head that he
would submit his fate to the arbitrament of Lady Ongar. At any rate he
must, he thought, see her, and finally arrange with her what the fate of
both of them should be, before he could make any definite statement of
his purpose in Onslow Crescent. The last tender of his hand had been
made to Julia, and he could not renew his former promises on Florence's
behalf, till he had been absolved by Julia.

This may at any rate be pleaded on his behalf--that in all the workings
of his mind at this time there was very little of personal vanity. Very
personally vain he had been when Julia Brabazon--the beautiful and
noble-born Julia--had first confessed at Clavering that she loved him;
but that vanity had been speedily knocked on its head by her conduct to
him. Men when they are jilted can hardly be vain of the conquest which
has led to such a result. Since that there had been no vanity of that
s