naive manner of telling about them afforded no little
amusement.

"I like everything in London except the telephone," he explained. "It's
easy enough to blow in the hot air, but it takes a whole lot of
experience on the flute to make the proper connections with your
fingers. And to get a number--well, it's a joke, that's what it is."

"Is it really worse than our service?" asked Alice.

"Worse? Why, ours is a direct line without a switchboard compared with
theirs. I gave it up altogether after my experience trying to get Crecy
& Brown--you know them, Mr. Gorham. I dropped into the office of one of
the pater's correspondents and asked to use their telephone. One of the
clerks offered to help me out, and I let him.

"'I say, miss,' began the clerk, 'put me through to Crecy & Brown, will
you?' Then a few moments went by. 'Oh! thank you very much,' was his
reply, and he restored the receiver noisily to its position on the rack.
'They have no telephone,' he said.

"I looked at him a moment, then I said as calmly as I could, 'and yet
they say the English are slow.'

"'Do they?' he replied, good-naturedly. 'I don't think I quite follow
you.'

"'Why, they have taken that telephone out since four o'clock yesterday
afternoon. In America it would have required several days.'

"'Oh, you're joking,' he laughed; 'they couldn't have taken it out since
then, you know.'

"'But they have,' I said, boldly, making a noise like the pater. 'I
called them up myself at that time yesterday.'

"Then he rang the central office again. 'I say, miss, the gentleman is
really positive that Crecy & Brown have a telephone, you know.'

"Some more minutes passed by, and again the clerk said, 'Oh, thank you
very kindly,' and he put the receiver back.

"'They have no telephone,' he said.

"'There you are,' I cried, 'it has been taken out since four o'clock
yesterday afternoon. It's simply wonderful!'

"'You Americans are such bally jokers,' the clerk said. 'They really
couldn't have done that, you know.'

"'But they have! I still insist.'

"Then the Englishman went into a trance for a moment. 'I believe you
think they have a telephone, after all,' he declared.

"'I really do,' I admitted.

"'Well, we'll soon find out,' the clerk cried, with an awful burst of
speed, striking a bell upon his desk.

"'George,' he said to the boy, 'run around to Crecy & Brown's, will you,
and see if they have a telephone.'

"I sat there for twenty minu