ops just
short of the ultimate relationship, an excitement and a tension are
aroused and perpetuated through the frequent and protracted meetings.
Sweet as this period of life is, in many cases it brings about a mild
exhaustion, and in other cases, relatively few, a severe neurosis. On
the whole the engagement period of the average American couple is not a
good preparation for matrimony. How to bring about restraint without
interfering with normal love-making is not an easy decision to make. But
it would be possible to introduce into the teaching of hygiene the
necessity of moderation in the engaged period; it would be especially of
service to those whose engagement must be prolonged to be advised
concerning the matter. Here is a place for the parents, the family
friend, or the family physician.

Men and women as they enter matrimony are only occasionally equipped
with real knowledge as to the physiology and psychology of the sex life.
That a great deal of domestic dissatisfaction and unhappiness could be
obviated if wisdom and experience instructed the husband and wife in
the matter I have not the slightest doubt. The first rift in the
domestic lute often dates from difficulties in the intimate life of the
pair, difficulties that need not exist if there were knowledge. That
reason and love may coexist, that the beauty of life is not dependent on
a sentimentalized ignorance are cardinal in my code of beliefs. He who
believes that sentiment disappears with enlightenment is the true cynic,
the true pessimist. He who believes that intelligence and knowledge
should guide instinct and that happiness is thus more certain is better
than an optimist; he is a rationalist, a realist.

CHAPTER XII

TREATMENT OF THE INDIVIDUAL CASES

It is obvious that what is largely a problem of the times cannot be
wholly considered as an individual problem. Yet individual cases do
yield to treatment (to use the slang of medicine) or at least a large
proportion do. The minor cases in point of symptoms are very frequently
the most stubborn, since neither the patient nor the family are willing
to concede that to alter the life situation is as important as the
taking of medicine.

Most housewives are nervous, both in their own eyes and in those of
their husbands, yet rightly they are not regarded as sick. They are
uncomfortable, even unhappy, and the way out seems impossible to find. I
believe that even with things as they are, adjustm