nd by unerring means, your whole
history, I shall be able to detect all that is deficient, as well as all
that is redundant. Your confessions have hitherto adhered to the truth,
but deficient they are, and they must be, for who, at a single trial,
can detail the secrets of his life? whose recollection can fully serve
him at an instant's notice? who can free himself, by a single effort,
from the dominion of fear and shame? We expect no miracles of fortitude
and purity from our disciples. It is our discipline, our wariness, our
laborious preparation that creates the excellence we have among us. We
find it not ready made.
I counsel you to join Mrs. Benington without delay. You may see me
when and as often as you please. When it is proper to renew the present
topic, it shall be renewed. Till then we will be silent.--Here Ludloe
left me alone, but not to indifference or vacuity. Indeed I was
overwhelmed with the reflections that arose from this conversation.
So, said I, I am still saved, if I have wisdom enough to use the
opportunity, from the consequences of past concealments. By a
distinction which I had wholly overlooked, but which could not be missed
by the sagacity and equity of Ludloe, I have praise for telling the
truth, and an excuse for withholding some of the truth. It was, indeed,
a praise to which I was entitled, for I have made no _additions_ to the
tale of my early adventures. I had no motive to exaggerate or dress out
in false colours. What I sought to conceal, I was careful to exclude
entirely, that a lame or defective narrative might awaken no suspicions.
The allusion to incidents at Toledo confounded and bewildered all my
thoughts. I still held the paper he had given me. So far as memory could
be trusted, it was the same which, an hour after I had received it,
I burnt, as I conceived, with my own hands. How Ludloe came into
possession of this paper; how he was apprised of incidents, to which
only the female mentioned and myself were privy; which she had too good
reason to hide from all the world, and which I had taken infinite pains
to bury in oblivion, I vainly endeavoured to conjecture.
End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Memoirs of Carwin the Biloquist, by
Charles Brockden Brown
*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MEMOIRS OF CARWIN THE BILOQUIST ***
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