Consul's portfolio, because many intended
for him came under cover for me. In consequence of this message I
received the following letter from M. de Meneval:

MY DEAR BOURRIENNE--I cannot believe that the First Consul would
wish that your letters should be presented to him. I presume you
allude only to those which may concern him, and which come addressed
under cover to you. The First Consul has written to citizens
Lavallette and Mollien directing them to address their packets to
him. I cannot allow Landoire to obey the order you sent.

The First Consul yesterday evening evinced great regret. He
repeatedly said, "How miserable I am! I have known that man since
he was seven years old." I cannot but believe that he will
reconsider his unfortunate decision. I have intimated to him that
the burden of the business is too much for me, and that he must be
extremely at a loss for the services of one to whom he was so much
accustomed, and whose situation, I am confident, nobody else can
satisfactorily fill. He went to bed very low-spirited. I am, etc.
(Signed) MENEVAL.

19 Vendemiaire, an X.
(21st October 1802.)

Next day I received another letter from M. Meneval as follows:--

I send you your letters. The First Consul prefers that you should
break them open, and send here those which are intended for him. I
enclose some German papers, which he begs you to translate.

Madame Bonaparte is much interested in your behalf; and I can assure
you that no one more heartily desires than the First Consul himself
to see you again at your old post, for which it would be difficult
to find a successor equal to you, either as regards fidelity or
fitness. I do not relinquish the hope of seeing you here again.

A whole week passed away in conflicts between the First Consul's
friendship and pride. The least desire he manifested to recall me was
opposed by his flatterers. On the fifth day of our separation he
directed me to come to him. He received me with the greatest kindness,
and after having good-humouredly told me that I often expressed myself
with too much freedom--a fault I was never solicitous to correct--he
added: "I regret your absence much. You were very useful to me. You are
neither too noble nor too plebeian, neither too aristocratic nor too
Jacobinical. You are discreet and laborious. You understand me better
than any one else; and, b