seats, and sat with that
dislike which people not too good-natured usually conceive of each
other at first sight. The coach jumbled us insensibly into some sort of
familiarity; and we had not moved above two miles, when the widow asked
the captain what success he had in his recruiting? The officer, with a
frankness he believed very graceful, told her, "That indeed he had but
very little luck, and had suffered much by desertion, therefore should
be glad to end his warfare in the service of her or her fair daughter.
In a word," continued he, "I am a soldier, and to be plain is my
character: you see me, Madam, young, sound, and impudent; take me
yourself, widow, or give me to her, I will be wholly at your disposal.
I am a soldier of fortune, ha!" This was followed by a vain laugh of his
own, and a deep silence of all the rest of the company. I had nothing
left for it but to fall fast asleep, which I did with all speed. "Come,"
said he, "resolve upon it, we will make a wedding at the next town.
We will wake this pleasant companion who has fallen asleep, to be the
brideman" (and giving the quaker a clap on the knee) he concluded "This
sly saint, who I'll warrant, understands what's what as well as you or
I, widow, shall give the bride as father." The quaker, who happened to
be a man of smartness, answered, "Friend, I take it in good part that
thou hast given me the authority of a father over this comely and
virtuous child; and I must assure thee, that if I have the giving her,
I shall not bestow her on thee. Thy mirth, friend, savoureth of folly:
Thou art a person of a light mind; thy drum is a type of thee, it
soundeth because it is empty. Verily, it is not from thy fulness, but
thy emptiness that thou hast spoken this day. Friend, friend, we have
hired this coach in partnership with thee, to carry us to the great
city; we cannot go any other way. This worthy mother must hear thee if
thou wilt needs utter thy follies; we cannot help it, friend, I say: if
thou wilt, we must hear thee; but if thou wert a man of understanding,
thou wouldst not take advantage of thy courageous countenance to abash
us children of peace. Thou art, thou sayest, a soldier; give quarter
to us, who cannot resist thee. Why didst thou fleer at our friend, who
feigned himself asleep? He said nothing; but how dost thou know what
he containeth? If thou speakest improper things in the hearing of this
virtuous young virgin, consider it as an outrage against a