or that very purpose, as
Rogojin said next day), that howsoever fantastical was the other woman,
howsoever afflicted her spirit and disturbed her understanding, no
preconceived idea of hers could possibly stand up against that deadly
feminine contempt of her rival. The prince felt sure that Nastasia
would say nothing about the letters herself; but he could judge by her
flashing eyes and the expression of her face what the thought of those
letters must be costing her at this moment. He would have given half his
life to prevent Aglaya from speaking of them. But Aglaya suddenly braced
herself up, and seemed to master herself fully, all in an instant.
"You have not quite understood," she said. "I did not come to quarrel
with you, though I do not like you. I came to speak to you as... as one
human being to another. I came with my mind made up as to what I had
to say to you, and I shall not change my intention, although you may
misunderstand me. So much the worse for you, not for myself! I wished to
reply to all you have written to me and to reply personally, because I
think that is the more convenient way. Listen to my reply to all your
letters. I began to be sorry for Prince Lef Nicolaievitch on the very
day I made his acquaintance, and when I heard--afterwards--of all that
took place at your house in the evening, I was sorry for him because he
was such a simple-minded man, and because he, in the simplicity of his
soul, believed that he could be happy with a woman of your character.
What I feared actually took place; you could not love him, you tortured
him, and threw him over. You could not love him because you are too
proud--no, not proud, that is an error; because you are too vain--no,
not quite that either; too self-loving; you are self-loving to madness.
Your letters to me are a proof of it. You could not love so simple a
soul as his, and perhaps in your heart you despised him and laughed at
him. All you could love was your shame and the perpetual thought that
you were disgraced and insulted. If you were less shameful, or had no
cause at all for shame, you would be still more unhappy than you are
now."
Aglaya brought out these thronging words with great satisfaction. They
came from her lips hurriedly and impetuously, and had been prepared and
thought out long ago, even before she had ever dreamed of the present
meeting. She watched with eagerness the effect of her speech as shown in
Nastasia's face, which was distor
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