e contrary," replied he, "it isn't absolutely necessary to
understand oneself. One is swept on in the same general direction,
anyhow. But understanding helps one to go faster and steadier."

"It began, away back, when I was a girl--this idea of a career. I
envied men and despised women, the sort of women I knew and met with. I
didn't realize why, then. But it was because a man had a chance to be
somebody in himself and to do something, while a woman was just a--a
more or less ornamental belonging of some man's--what you want me to
become now."

"As far as possible from my idea."

"Don't you want me to belong to you?"

"As I belong to you."

"That sounds well, but it isn't what could happen. The fact is, Donald,
that I want to belong to you--want to be owned by you and to lose
myself in you. And it's that I'm fighting."

She felt the look he was bending upon her, and glowed and colored under
it, but did not dare to turn her eyes to meet it. Said he: "Why fight
it? Why not be happy?"

"Ah, but that's just it," cried she. "I shouldn't be happy. And I
should make you miserable. The idea of a career--the idea that's
rooted deep in me and can't ever be got out, Donald; it would torment
me. You couldn't kill it, no matter how much you loved me. I'd yield
for the time. Then, I'd go back--or, if I didn't, I'd be wretched and
make you wish you'd never seen me."

"I understand," said he. "I don't believe it, but I understand."

"You think I'm deceiving myself, because you saw me wasting my life,
playing the idler and the fool, pretending I was working toward a
career when I was really making myself fit for nothing but to be
Stanley Baird's mistress."

"And you're still deceiving yourself. You won't see the truth."

"No matter," said she. "I must go on and make a career--some kind of a
career."

"At what?"

"At grand opera."

"How'll you get the money?"

"Of Stanley, if necessary. That's why I asked his address. I shan't
ask for much. He'll not refuse."

"A few minutes ago you were talking of self-respect."

"As something I hoped to get. It comes with independence. I'll pay
any price to get it."

"Any price?" said he, and never before had she seen his self-control in
danger.

"I shan't ask Stanley until my other plans have failed."

"What other plans?"

"I am going to ask Mrs. Belloc for the money. She could afford to
give--to lend--the little I'd want. I'm going to ask her in such