ns and
evenings instead of spending their money and their substance in these
terrible grog shops ashore, these low and vicious haunts of iniquity,"
he rolled his tongue round the words, "I propose that the officers
shall prepare and deliver a series of lectures on interesting topics.
I have," he added, "brought a magic lantern and a good stock of slides
out from England, and some evening next week I propose to deliver the
first lecture myself. The subject is a most instructive one, 'The
effects of alcohol on the human body and mind,' and to illustrate it I
have prepared a number of most excellent charts showing the increase in
the consumption of spirits and malt liquor between 1873 and the present
time. The charts, compiled from the most reliable data, are drawn up
for most of the best known professions, sailors, soldiers, labourers,
policemen, clergymen, and so on, and I can safely promise you a most
interesting evening."

Pardoe, quite convinced that he had to deal with a lunatic, gasped and
began to wonder how on earth he could leave the ship unostentatiously
without damaging his subsequent career. "I'm afraid I'm not much of a
hand at lecturing, sir," he said with a forced smile. "In fact there's
hardly a subject I know enough about to----."

"Pooh, pooh," laughed the commander. "With due diligence in your spare
time you will be able to learn up quite a lot of subjects, and as for
the actual lecturing," he shrugged his shoulders, "practice makes
perfect, and I have no doubt that before very long we shall find you
quite an orator." He smiled benignly.

"We will have the lectures once a week, at 8 p.m., say on Thursdays,"
he went on, "and on Sundays I will conduct an evening service at 6.0.,
at which, of course, all officers will attend. You will read the
lessons and collect the offertory, Mr. Pardoe. That will leave us five
clear evenings a week for other harmless occupations, and I propose
that on one of them we have readings for the men from the works of
well-known authors. Something light and amusing from Dickens or Dumas
to start with, and then, as we get on, we might try the more learned
writers like Darwin, or--er--Confucius."

The wretched first lieutenant grew red about the face and started to
breathe heavily.

"Then on another evening we might encourage the men to play progressive
games like draughts, halma, picture lotto, spillikins, ping-pong, and
beggar-my-neighbour. My sole object in doin