ur common idea of the marriage relation, wholly
undesirable. The woman, we say, is not to guide, nor even to think for
herself. The man is always to be the wiser; he is to be the thinker,
the ruler, the superior in knowledge and discretion, as in power.

64. Is it not somewhat important to make up our minds on this matter?
Are all these great men mistaken, or are we? Are Shakespeare and
Aeschylus, Dante and Homer, merely dressing dolls for us; or, worse
than dolls, unnatural visions, the realization of which, were it
possible, would bring anarchy into all households and ruin into all
affections? Nay, if you could suppose this, take lastly the evidence
of facts, given by the human heart itself. In all Christian ages which
have been remarkable for their purity or progress, there has been
absolute yielding of obedient devotion, by the lover, to his mistress.
I say _obedient_;--not merely enthusiastic and worshiping in
imagination, but entirely subject, receiving from the beloved woman,
however young, not only the encouragement, the praise, and the reward
of all toil, but so far as any choice is open, or any question
difficult of decision, the _direction_ of all toil. That chivalry, to
the abuse and dishonor of which are attributable primarily whatever is
cruel in war, unjust in peace, or corrupt and ignoble in domestic
relations; and to the original purity and power of which we owe the
defense alike of faith, of law, and of love;--that chivalry, I say, in
its very first conception of honorable life, assumes the subjection of
the young knight to the command--should it even be the command in
caprice--of his lady. It assumes this, because its masters knew that
the first and necessary impulse of every truly taught and knightly
heart is this of blind service to its lady; that where that true faith
and captivity are not, all wayward and wicked passions must be; and
that in this rapturous obedience to the single love of his youth, is
the sanctification of all man's strength, and the continuance of all
his purposes. And this, not because such obedience would be safe, or
honorable, were it ever rendered to the unworthy; but because it ought
to be impossible for every noble youth--it _is_ impossible for every
one rightly trained--to love any one whose gentle counsel he cannot
trust, or whose prayerful command he can hesitate to obey.

65. I do not insist by any farther argument on this, for I think it
should commend itsel