ually much more indecent and dangerous than a good smack.
The pained but resigned disapprobation of a mother is usually a very
bad thing, much worse than the father's shouts of rage. And sendings
to bed, and no dessert for a week, and so on, are crueller and meaner
than a bang on the head. When a parent gives his boy a beating, there
is a living passionate interchange. But in these refined punishments,
the parent suffers nothing and the child is deadened. The bullying of
the refined, benevolent spiritual will is simply vitriol to the soul.
Yet parents administer it with all the righteousness of virtue and
good intention, sparing themselves perfectly.

The point is here. If a child makes you so that you really want to
spank it soundly, then soundly spank the brat. But know all the time
_what_ you are doing, and always be responsible for your anger. Never
be ashamed of it, and never surpass it. The flashing interchange of
anger between parent and child is part of the responsible
relationship, necessary to growth. Again, if a child offends you
deeply, so that you really can't communicate with it any more, then,
while the hurt is deep, switch off your connection from the child, cut
off your correspondence, your vital communion, and be alone. But never
persist in such a state beyond the time when your deep hurt dies down.
The only rule is, do what you _really_, impulsively, wish to do. But
always act on your own responsibility sincerely. And have the courage
of your own strong emotion. They enrichen the child's soul.

For a child's primary education depends almost entirely on its
relation to its parents, brothers, and sisters. Between mother and
child, father and child, the law is this: I, the mother, am myself
alone: the child is itself alone. But there exists between us a vital
dynamic relation, for which I, being the conscious one, am basically
responsible. So, as far as possible, there must be in me no departure
from myself, lest I injure the preconscious dynamic relation. I must
absolutely act according to my own true spontaneous feeling. But,
moreover, I must also have wisdom for myself and for my child. Always,
always the deep wisdom of responsibility. And always a brave
responsibility for the soul's own spontaneity. Love--what is love?
We'd better get a new idea. Love is, in all, generous impulse--even a
good spanking. But wisdom is something else, a deep collectedness in
the soul, a deep abiding by my own integral