titterin' a bit; but altogether there was a kind
o' breathlessness for a moment or so, an' then th' ould Mennear sings
out from the pulpit--

"'Brother Hoskins, I'll trouble you to kindly pass up that eye.'

"Deacon Hoskins stared a bit, but was too short o' sight to see what
the matter was.

"'Eh?' says he.

"'Hand up that eye, ef you plaise.'

"'What eye?' says the Deacon.

"Th' ould Mennear stamped and seemed fit to swear.

"'Why, _my_ eye, you nation bufflehead!' The Lawyer didn't mind much
what he said when hes back was up; an' arter all 'twere, in a kind o'
way, 'scuseable.

"'Look 'ere,' answers back the Deacon, 'ef you've drapped your eye,
an' be that fond o' the cheap-jack thing that you can't get on wi'out
et, send round Deacon Spettigue to hunt, an' not a man as can't see
sax inches afore hes nose. Et's out o' reas'n,' he said, 'an' you
ort to know better.'

"In cou'se, tho', when he found out hes mistake an' lugged the thing
out o' hes pocket, there was Bedlam let loose, for up five minnits,
ivery mother's son chitterin' an' laffin, an' the Deacon lookin' like
a pig in a fit. He desarted the Seceders that very week, an' niver
darken'd the Meetin' House door agen to the day o' hes death.

"Well, the fuss got calmed over, but somehow the Lawyer cudn' niver
trust hes eye as he used to. He said 'twarn't fully dependable; an',
sure 'nuff, within a month et slipped out agen, and th' ould man was
forced to go to Plymouth an' buy another, a bit smaller. So he lost
by his mean ways arter all. He tried to trade back th' ould eye, but
the shopman wudn'; so he brought et home in hes pocket, and laid it
by in the chaney cupboard, 'long wi' the cloam, [9] an' there et
bided.

"An' now, sir, I'm a-comin' to the most curiosest part o' my yarn:
an' you can believe or no, as you thinks fit, but I'll tell 'ee jest
what I knows an' no more.

"Some two year arter, Lawyer Mennear tuk a corner out o' the
twenty-acred field--a little patch to the right o' the gate as you
went in--an' planted et wi' green peas. Six rows he planted, an'
beautiful peas, too, on'y the birds wudn' let mun ha' a chance.
Well, at las' th' ould man got mad, an' stuck me 'pon top o' the
hedge wi' a clapper to scare the birds away; 'sides which, to make
sure, he rigged up a scarecrow. 'Twas a lovely scarecrow: two
cross-sticks an' the varmer's own coat--'twas the coat he'd a-got
married in forty year afore. He gied et to me when th