name appear in any
way, for that the jury would never have understood it.) I had,
therefore, a double danger to guard against; first that which came from
the conspirators--the fear that they should discover I was tricking
them, or rather that I had discovered their trickery; and, on the other
side, that I should become involved with them in the fall that was so
certain from the beginning, and be myself accused of conspiracy--or of
misprision of treason at the least. Against the latter I guarded as well
as I could, by revealing to Mr. Chiffinch every least incident so soon
as it happened; and on three occasions in the following year having a
long discourse with His Majesty. But against the former danger I had
only my wits to protect me.

The best thing, therefore, that I can do is to relate a few of the
events that happened to me. (I have never, I think, experienced such a
strain on my wits; for it went on for a good deal more than a year,
since I could for a long time arrive at no certain proofs of the guilt
of the conspirators, and His Majesty did not wish to strike until their
conviction was assured.)

The first meeting of the conspirators to which I was admitted was in
January. (I had not been able, of course, to go to Hare Street for
Christmas; but the letters I had now and again from Dolly, greatly
encouraged and comforted me. I had told her that I "was keeping to my
resolution," but that "I should be in some peril for a good while to
come," and begged her to remember me often in her pure prayers.)

A fellow came to my lodgings about the middle of January, with a letter
from my Lord Essex. It ran as follows:

"SIR,--With regard to some matters of which we spoke together on the
occasion of our very pleasant ride to town last month, I am very anxious
to see you again. Pray do not write any answer to this; but if you can
meet me on Thursday night at the house of my friend Mr. West, in Creed
Lane, at nine o'clock, we may have a little conversation with some other
friends of ours. I am, sir, your obliged servant,

"Essex."

I told the fellow that the answer was Yes. My Lord had been to see me in
Covent Garden twice, but had said very little that was at all explicit;
but Mr. Chiffinch had bid me hold myself in readiness, and put aside all
else for the further invitations that would surely come. And so it had.

I found the house without difficulty; and was shewn into a little
parlour near the door; where presently