* * * * *

Years are required to make a brutal man--hours, a woman.

* * * * *

We praise God for our victories. What does the other fellow do?

* * * * *

Patriotism is but another name for, 'love yourself and hate your
neighbors.'

* * * * *

If churches were made as attractive as gin palaces, the former, not the
latter, would be open six days in the week.

* * * * *

When you get there, you will find that Eternal Justice is not built on
the departmental store system. Some pale-faced girl will offer the
evidence.

* * * * *

Once Pity and Charity perched on every cloistered gate and cried,
'welcome.' Now they only venture forth on public occasions, when they
will be seen of all men.

* * * * *

The cat's serenade gives tone to the back yard.

* * * * *

Mental problem. Suicide or side-tracked. Which?

* * * * *

The laugh of a child is sweeter to God than a forty minute prayer.

* * * * *

The Klondike is as alluring as a pretty woman and equally as freakish.

* * * * *

The greatness of the Yukon is only surpassed by the greatness of its
liars.

* * * * *

Innocence is a rose bud with a worm outside waiting to gnaw a hole in
it.

* * * * *

A blood-sucker on a boy's toe looks bigger to him than a sea-serpent to
a man.

* * * * *

An Easter bonnet is more satisfying to a woman than the most eloquent
sermon.

* * * * *

The witch doctor taboos a banana tree, the parson the joyous dance. Both
are bigots.

* * * * *

The nigger who has learned to drink rum does not regard civilization as
an unmixed blessing.

* * * * *

The beautiful is eternal.

* * * * *

An epitaph. "He went North and found his grave."

* * * * *

The cold marble becomes a living flame under the hands of the sculptor.

* * * * *

We cannot turn water into wine but some men come very near tur