FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   185   186   187   188   189   190   191   192   193   194   195   196   197   198   199   200   201   202   203   204   205   206   207   208   209  
210   211   212   213   214   215   216   217   218   219   220   221   222   223   224   225   226   227   228   229   230   231   232   233   234   >>   >|  
dashing with a sense of shame every successful step towards fame and honor. "Maybe he's right after all," muttered Billy to himself. "The New World is the only place for those who have not the roots of an ancient stock to hold them in the Old. Men can be there whatever is in them, and they can be judged without the prejudices of a class." Having summed up, as it were, his own doubts in this remark, he proceeded with his task. While he was thus occupied, Massy entered, and threw himself into a chair. "There, you may give it up, Traynor. Fate is ever against us, do and decide on what we will. Your confounded omen of a Friday was right this time." "What do you mean? Have you altered your mind?" "I expected you to say so," said the other, bitterly. "I knew that I should meet with this mockery of my resolution, but it is uncalled for. It is not I that have changed!" "What is it, then, has happened,--do they refuse your passport?" "Not that either; I never got so far as to ask for it. The misfortune is in this wise: on going to the bank to learn the sum that lay to my credit and draw for it, I was met by the reply that I had nothing there,--not a shilling. Before I could demand how this could be the case, the whole truth suddenly flashed across my memory, and I recalled to mind how one night, as I lay awake, the thought occurred to me that it was base and dishonorable in me, now that I was come to manhood, to accept of the means of life from one who felt shame in my connection with him. 'Why,' thought I, 'is there to be the bond of dependence where there is no tie of affection to soften its severity?' And so I arose from my bed, and wrote to Sir Horace, saying that by the same post I should remit to his banker at Naples whatever remained of my last year's allowance, and declined in future to accept of any further assistance. This I did the same day, and never told you of it,--partly, lest you should try to oppose me in my resolve; partly," and here his voice faltered, "to spare myself the pain of revealing my motives. And now that I have buoyed my heart up with this project, I find myself without means to attempt it. Not that I regret my act, or would recall it," cried he, proudly, "but that the sudden disappointment is hard to bear. I was feeding my hopes with such projects for the future when this stunning news met me, and the thought that I am now chained here by necessity has become a torture." "What ans
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   185   186   187   188   189   190   191   192   193   194   195   196   197   198   199   200   201   202   203   204   205   206   207   208   209  
210   211   212   213   214   215   216   217   218   219   220   221   222   223   224   225   226   227   228   229   230   231   232   233   234   >>   >|  



Top keywords:
thought
 

future

 

partly

 
accept
 
manhood
 
severity
 

occurred

 

flashed

 

Horace

 

affection


recalled
 
dishonorable
 

connection

 

dependence

 

soften

 

memory

 

recall

 

proudly

 

sudden

 

disappointment


project
 

attempt

 

regret

 
feeding
 

necessity

 
chained
 
torture
 

projects

 

stunning

 

buoyed


declined

 

allowance

 
assistance
 
banker
 

Naples

 
remained
 

faltered

 

revealing

 

motives

 

resolve


suddenly

 

oppose

 
doubts
 

remark

 
proceeded
 
summed
 

judged

 

prejudices

 
Having
 

Traynor