e faith. Most of us
are commendably zealous in assassination, but slack and lukewarm in
suicide. Some justify themselves in this half-hearted observance of the
Law and imperfect submission to the Spirit by arguing that if they destroy
themselves their usefulness in destroying others will be greatly abridged.
'I find,' says one of our most illustrious writers, not without a certain
force, it must be confessed, 'that I can slay many more of others than I
can of myself.'

"There are still others, more distinguished for faith than works, who
reason that if A kill B, B cannot kill C. So it happens that although many
Lalugwumps die, mostly by the hands of others, though some by their own,
the country is never wholly depopulated."

"In my own country," said I, "is a sect holding somewhat Lalugwumpian
views of the evil of life; and among the members it is considered a sin to
bestow it. The philosopher Schopenhauer taught the same doctrine, and many
of our rulers have shown strong sympathetic leanings toward it by
procuring the destruction of many of their own people and those of other
nations in what is called war."

"They are greatly to be commended," said Gnarmag-Zote, rising to intimate
that the conversation was at an end. I respectfully protruded my tongue
while he withdrew into his palace, spitting politely and with unusual
copiousness in acknowledgment. A few minutes later, but before I had left
the spot, two lackeys in livery emerged from the door by which he had
entered, and while one shouldered the body of the old man and carried it
into the palace kitchen the other informed me that his Highness was
graciously pleased to desire my company at dinner that evening. With many
expressions of regret I declined the invitation, unaware that to do so was
treason. With the circumstances of my escape to the island of Tamtonia the
newspapers have made the world already familiar.

THE TAMTONIANS

In all my intercourse with the Tamtonians I was treated with the most
distinguished consideration and no obstacles to a perfect understanding of
their social and political life were thrown in my way. My enforced
residence on the island was, however, too brief to enable me to master the
whole subject as I should have liked to do.

The government of Tamtonia is what is known in the language of the island
as a _gilbuper_. It differs radically from any form known in other parts
of the world and is supposed to have been invented by an a