g
if I refused you. I was afraid of spoiling your life and mine. And
now I am suffering for my mistake. I'm suffering unbearably!"

She sobbed bitterly, and he saw that she was hurt; and not knowing
what to say, dropped down on the carpet before her.

"That's enough; that's enough," he muttered. "I insulted you because
I love you madly." He suddenly kissed her foot and passionately
hugged it. "If only a spark of love," he muttered. "Come, lie to
me; tell me a lie! Don't say it's a mistake! . . ."

But she went on crying, and he felt that she was only enduring his
caresses as an inevitable consequence of her mistake. And the foot
he had kissed she drew under her like a bird. He felt sorry for
her.

She got into bed and covered her head over; he undressed and got
into bed, too. In the morning they both felt confused and did not
know what to talk about, and he even fancied she walked unsteadily
on the foot he had kissed.

Before dinner Panaurov came to say good-bye. Yulia had an irresistible
desire to go to her own home; it would be nice, she thought, to go
away and have a rest from married life, from the embarrassment and
the continual consciousness that she had done wrong. It was decided
at dinner that she should set off with Panaurov, and stay with her
father for two or three weeks until she was tired of it.

XI

She travelled with Panaurov in a reserved compartment; he had on
his head an astrachan cap of peculiar shape.

"Yes, Petersburg did not satisfy me," he said, drawling, with a
sigh. "They promise much, but nothing definite. Yes, my dear girl.
I have been a Justice of the Peace, a member of the local Board,
chairman of the Board of Magistrates, and finally councillor of the
provincial administration. I think I have served my country and
have earned the right to receive attention; but--would you believe
it?--I can never succeed in wringing from the authorities a post
in another town. . . ."

Panaurov closed his eyes and shook his head.

"They don't recognise me," he went on, as though dropping asleep.
"Of course I'm not an administrator of genius, but, on the other
hand, I'm a decent, honest man, and nowadays even that's something
rare. I regret to say I have not been always quite straightforward
with women, but in my relations with the Russian government I've
always been a gentleman. But enough of that," he said, opening his
eyes; "let us talk of you. What put it into your head to visit your
papa s