hat she hates the men;
and they call her a cross old maid, and a great number of other
hard epithets.

But, sometimes, a tear is observed in the corner of her eye, which she
hastily wipes away. That tear is an oblation upon the memory of a lost
love. That lost love was, and is, and always will be, Wesley Tiffles.

CHAPTER III.

SLAPMAN _vs_. SLAPMAN.

The case of Slapman _vs_. Slapman occupied the attention of the referee,
Samuel Goldfinch, Esq., over two months. That gentleman was corpulent,
fond of good dinners, and had a highly cultivated taste for scandal. It
had been his custom to give this interesting case a hearing one or two
hours every afternoon, daily, after court. It was a relief from the
heavy business of the day; for Goldfinch had heavy business, which came
to him because he was a fat and pleasant fellow, with a large head, and
a great circle of miscellaneous acquaintance. The real work of the
office was done by a modest, unappreciated man named Mixer. On the
occasion of these antimatrimonial audiences, Mixer sat in the back room,
grubbing among his dusty papers; while Samuel Goldfinch, Esq., in the
front room, with shut doors, leaned back in his easy chair and
surrendered himself to enjoyment.

In the case of Slapman _vs_. Slapman, a great number of witnesses had
been examined on each side. Affidavits, amounting to hundreds of pages,
had been obtained in distant States--some as far away as California. The
lawyers had spared neither their own time nor the money of their clients
in raking together testimony which would bear in the slightest degree
upon the interests which they represented. All the relatives of Mr.
Slapman had testified that he was a gentleman uniformly kind and
courteous, possessing a singular placidity of temper, and indulgent to
his wife to a degree where indulgence became a fault. Those relatives,
and they were numerous--particularly in the country branch--who had
passed anniversary weeks at Mr. Slapman's house, were very severe on
Mrs. Slapman. She was a proud, disagreeable woman. She was continually
snubbing her husband before people. She had a great many male friends,
whose acquaintance she had retained in defiance of his wishes. She was
known to have received letters from men, and when her husband had
desired to peruse them, had laughed at him. It is true that she
pretended to be a patroness of literature, science, and the arts; but
anybody could see that those things were o