nities. Weel
a weel, let that be a pass over. Noo a teetle ye maun hae, that's as
clear as the licht, and there's ane come just now into my head that will
answer ye to a T; when ye're a lord, freend, Robby, ye'll be Lord
Preserve Us?"--"You are very impertinent Mr. C--k," replied the nettled
judge expectant; "I am sure you may find a waur."--There never, perhaps,
was, or will be, comprehended so much pithy meaning and bitter sarcasm
in a single syllable, as that which formed the astounding
response--"Whaur (where)?"

* * * * *

GREGORY THE GREAT A PUNSTER.

Gregory the great was a punster, as appears from an anecdote related of
him, and which gave the first impulse to his exertions to promulgate
Christianity in this country. It was sometime before he was advanced to
St. Peter's chair, and when he was only a deacon in the church, that he
saw some handsome youths for sale in the open market: struck with their
appearance, he inquired whence they were, and was answered they were
_Angli (English.)_ "They are rightly called," said he, "for they seem
Angeli," (of or belonging to angels,) and asking what province they were
of among the Angli; he was told of _Deira_ (part of the kingdom of
Northumbria.) Ah, exclaimed he, _De ira Dei sunt liberandi_. Learning
farther that their king was named _Alle_, he said how fitly may he sing
_Alle_lujahs to God, who possesseth such subjects. From that time he
seriously endeavoured to bring about the conversion of the English
nation, and a few years afterwards, being Pope, he happily effected it
by the travels and labours of St. Augustine, who was the first
Archbishop of Canterbury.

* * * * *

EPITAPH

_In St. Mary's Churchyard, Lambeth._

God takes the good, too good to stay,
He leaves the bad, too bad to take away.

* * * * *

MUSIC.

_Voluntary composed under the impulse of peculiar sensibility, by
Rainer, of Frankfort._

Fol, di, lol, tol, tiddle lol de de di do
ral tal lil liddle lal lal de ra.

* * * * *

ORTHOGRAPHY.

The following is a literal copy of a notice upon a gate between
Cheltenham and Gloucester:--

"Here is No Public Road: whosdomnever
tresprss on wil be proccuted to
the hutmast Reglar."

C.J.T.

* * * * *

HONOURABLE SERVICE.

If one has served thee,